My Brit Butt Rally by John Young

The Brit Butt Rally is billed as the “Toughest Road Rally in Europe” and can best be describe as the National Rally on steroids !

At it’s heart is a traditional Scatter Rally / Treasure Hunt, but it’s the “unique” attributes of the event that lifts it way above the level of the National rally and other rallies of the same sort.  To begin with, it’s held over 36 hours compared with the 20 hours for the National rally.  This year the minimum distance needed to be covered over the course of the rally in order to be classed as a finisher was 1123 miles compared with the 540 miles “ish” for the NR.  Finally and having completed the riding part of the event, the completion of the paperwork to support the ride is far more onerous than that for the NR.

Once I’d become aware of the event, I entered my name for the draw.  The entry list is limited to 65 and it later transpired that some 450 people had originally applied for the rally.  The draw was made on Christmas Eve 2008 and so it was my first Christmas present when I received the e-mail confirming that I was one of the accepted applications.  My rally number was 52.

Between the initial entrants being selected and the final weeks leading up to the rally, various people who had initially been fortunate enough to make the original “cut”, cancelled and needed to withdraw for a variety of reasons.  John Jnr., fresh from completing his first SS1000, decided to throw his name into the hat and managed to get one of the vacant slots (number 16).  He seemed oblivious to the notion that he was entering possibly the toughest road rally in Europe, having absolutely no previous experience of competing in this type of scatter rally before and to cap it all, on a Supersports 600 – ah, the folly of youth …..

My plan had always been to use a Meriden Triple for the event, in particular the Slippery Sam Replica.  The fact that virtually all of the other bikes being used by other entrants were at least 25 to 30 years younger and had a considerable “cc” advantage over the Legend should have been telling me something.  Clearly whatever John “has”, he’s inherited it from me !  .

However a couple of weeks or so before the rally, the SSR took up the annoying habit of blowing its main (actually only) fuse.  Although, I was reasonably confident that I had fixed the problem in the final few days leading up to the event, the thought of the problem reoccurring during the Saturday night of the rally on some deserted road in the middle of nowhere convinced me that using an alternative bike might just be the sensible option.  Although the use of the Hinckley Daytona was always a possibility, the lure of a “proper” triple proved just too strong to resist and so the Legend was called into action.  The problem with the Legend though, was that I had hardly used it during 2008 - the last major trip it had been on was the trip down to the French Rally ay Le Mans in May 2007.  I spent the Monday and Tuesday evening before the start of the 2009 BBR giving the bike a service and on the Wednesday evening it was given a (very) quick “shakedown” ride.  All seemed well – a couple of little misfires, but I figured that would clear once I’d got a few miles under the wheels - so now it was just a case of an easy day at the office on Thursday followed by an early night and then off to the rally itself on Friday morning.

Of course things never go to plan and Thursday was a nightmare at work, which meant that not only did I need to work late (oh the joys of having your own business), but I also needed to go into the office for a few hours on the Friday morning.  It was very fortunate therefore, that the rally base was only at the Premier Inn at Trentham Gardens, which is less than 25 miles north from where we live.

There are various things that happen on the Friday as regards the rally.  Obviously you need to check into your room at the hotel and also then sign in at rally control.  At the signing in, a photograph is taken of you on the digital camera that you plan to use.  One is also taken when you (hopefully) return on Sunday evening.  This is obviously to ensure that the group of photographs sandwiched between your mug shots are the ones that you’ve taken on the rally.  Next you have your bike put through the safety checks.  Roger Allen (“Mr IBA-UK”), suggested that I might need to point the marshals in the right direction when checking my bike over, as they wouldn’t be used to dealing with “bikes as old as mine”.  Cheeky bugger !!  I’ll have you know it’s got indicators and an electric start – and they all work, well most of the time ….

With the safety checks completed, your odometer mileage is then recorded and you are sent off on a pre-measured route to determine the accuracy of your speedometer.  This is especially important as the inaccuracy in most speedometers can mean the difference between getting a finishers award or being classed a non-finisher when you are covering 1000 miles plus on a rally such as this.  The speedometer calibration was later given for all but one of the entrants as 0.985, meaning if your odometer reads that you’ve covered 1000 miles, for the purposes of scoring, you’ve only actually covered 985 miles. 

With the calibration ride over, all we had to do then was wait ……

At seven o’clock, dinner was served and then we all assembled in the meeting room for the distribution of the Bonus Book (with its 69 locations) and our Rally Towels.  With them all distributed, Chris McGaffin, then announced the final two pieces of information that we’d be needing – to finish you needed to ride a minimum of 1123 miles and “collect” at least 27500 points.  We then all adjourned to our rooms to plot our routes.

I had already agreed with John that we’d ride together for at least the first 24 hours - maybe splitting up at that point and going our separate ways for the remaining 12 hours.  I knew that by doing this, any chance of a reasonable placed finish for me (and for John Jnr.) would have gone, since when riding in a group, even a group as small as two, your average speed will drop considerably.  Even something as mundane as one person needing the toilet when the other doesn’t will have a massive effect on the average speed.  Nonetheless, I’d figured that the most important thing was to get a “finish” for the both of us on the basis that it was a fair bet that of the 49 riders that actually made it to the start line, some would necessarily fall by the wayside. 

We plotted therefore a fairly safe “preliminary” route (knowing full well that it would be amended at some stage during the ride) in a roughly clockwise loop from Trentham down to Dover, across to Portsmouth and then onto the Isle of Wight.  From there it would be down to Lands End before heading back up the M5/M6 to Trentham and the finish.  A quick calculation gave a points total in excess of the minimum required (including the fuel bonus of 10,000 points and the sleep bonus of 5000 points) and as importantly, a ridden mileage of well in excess of the 1123 miles required.  By just before eleven, with the route more or less etched in my head, we took to a bed for the last time for 48 hours.

At just after 5.00am, the alarm sounded and we dressed and went down to the bikes.  By the time we got to our bikes, the car park was already a hive of activity, with people making last minute preparations to both riding gear and to bikes.  It was clearly a special event since even my good lady wife had managed to get up to see her husband and son number one, set off JJ

At six o’clock, Roger Allen shook the hand of the first rider and the rally was on.  Roger took the opportunity to wish each and every rider well individually, so it was a few minutes after six o’clock before John and myself re-formed as a pair heading southbound on the A34 towards the first of our clues.  It was quite strange, when about 20 minutes later we actually rode right past our house knowing that at least eleven hundred miles lay between us and the next time we’d see it.

When I had initially looked at the Bonus Book the previous evening, I had noted that there were four locations all within forty miles of the start and all where places that I knew well.  Whilst appreciating that some riders would probably leave these until the end of the rally, I decided that it was more important to get John into the “rhythm” of collecting Bonus points as soon as possible.

Within 45 minutes of leaving the start control and with barely 25 miles “on the clock” we arrived at the first bonus – the “Miner” at Brownhills.  It was important at each location to check in the Bonus book exactly what was required.  Some bonuses required just a picture of the place, some required yourself to be in the picture and others required your bike to be in the picture.  Some even, were “time sensitive”, i.e. they were only valid between certain times (a specific receipt was needed to prove this).  Of course, one thing that was a “constant” was that the Rally Towel needed to be in every picture.  Having completed the ride and when you return to the start control for your ride to be scored, if the picture “hadn’t followed the instructions”, you wouldn’t be allowed the points – in short, a prospect too depressing to even contemplate !!

From Brownhills, three other “bonuses” were reeled off in quick succession – the Steel Horseman at Moxley and then the Ironman and the statue of Boulton, Watt and Murdoch in Birmingham city centre.  At three of the bonuses we had met other riders, albeit it briefly, but at the fourth, we were the only ones there.  This was a pattern that repeated itself throughout the day.   For seemingly no apparent reason there would be a small gathering at some bonus points, whilst other Bonus locations were something akin to the decks of the Mary Celeste !!

With over 2000 points on our scorecard after only an hour and a half, we headed south on the M40.  I knew that to some extent, this initial burst of collecting points was a little misleading since from here on in the points acquisition would slow down considerably.

One “issue” that quickly manifested itself though was the respective fuelling requirements of the Legend compared with the Daytona.  With triples being generally notoriously thirsty, I needed to start looking for fuel each time my odometer notched up another 100 miles.  When we stopped, I was then having to put between one and a half to twice as much fuel in as John was using in the Daytona – not that it mattered much cost-wise, since, as usual, I ended up paying for both !  Whilst under normal circumstances, frequent stopping for petrol doesn’t matter that much, (albeit a little annoying), when you’re riding against the clock, a fuel stop consumes valuable minutes.  Over the course of the rally, I had ended up having to top up the tank on eleven occasions.  With each stop taking a minimum of ten minutes (remember we were filling up two bikes and then paying for two bikes in order that we got our respective fuel receipts) meant that over the course of the 36 hours we spent almost two and a quarter hours on petrol station forecourts.

We actually made our first fuel stop at Warwick on the M40 and at the same time caught a quick bacon sandwich.  The next two bonus locations, the “shark in the roof” at Oxford and the radio mast at Chelmsford netted us a further 965 points.  At Chelmsford, we saw Steve Eversfield on his Pan European (an IBA Iron Butt Rally veteran) for the first time.  We would meet up with him on further occasions throughout the day (and night and the next morning !!).

From Chelmsford, we rejoined the M25 travelling clockwise and hit our first heavy traffic as we made the Dartford Crossing.  We filtered through near on seven miles of very slow moving traffic, before riding over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge and then dropping down through the toll-booths on the other side.

The next bonus location was the first of our restricted ones - the Ferry Inn on the Isle of Sheppey.  Although this was worth 1090 points, these could only be “won” with a visit between the hours of noon and 3.00pm on the Saturday afternoon.  The “rules” for this bonus were very specific.  You needed to take a picture of yourself at the bar (with your rally towel obviously) and also collect a receipt for a drink of your choice, time and date stamped within the qualifying period.  It was a torturous last 5 mile ride down an every increasingly narrow lane, but the 1090 point “prize” compensated for the effort involved !!

Our route then took us around the Kent coast, picking up bonus points at Margate (217), Ramsgate (250) and Dover (779) before we took a break for food and fuel at just before 4.00pm at the Maidstone Services on the M20.

It was at this point that the first major change of plan occurred.  As we had been riding along the Kent coast, I’d been contemplating the idea of going into London to pick up the four Bonus locations there.  Now usually London is a place that I do my best to avoid, especially when I’m riding a Trident.  The Trident was designed for the open road and does not like congested cities and getting stuck in traffic, especially on days like today where it was fair to say the weather had turned out to be very warm .  Even the filtering earlier in the day as we approached the Dartford crossing had made the bike difficult to ride, with it beginning to “spit and bang” as the bike got increasingly hot and bothered.  However the fact that there was 4210 points on offer over the four clues was just too tempting to resist.  I have to say, had John not have had his Tom-Tom (Sat-Nav) with him, the idea would probably not even have been contemplated.  Although we had used it to find a couple of the Bonus locations earlier in the day, it had not really been needed, having been called into action simply to avoid having to dig out the map.  However in London it would almost be a necessity.  The foray into London City centre would also remove the need for the ride down to Land End if time started to work against us.

It was 5.00 as we hit the city outskirts.  The next two and a half hours were hell ……

With John Jnr. leading (and having to try to read his car Tom-Tom through his map pocket in his tank bag – not the easiest task on a bright summers day), we edged into the city.  The first clue was the London Eye (1000 points).  By the time we made our right (and illegal) turn into a road to get our picture, the Legend was already “protesting.”  I had got somewhere between two and three cylinders pushing me along at best, the oil pressure had dropped to 50 psi and the engine cases were already too hot to touch.  As we approached the second clue, the Blind Beggar Pub in Whitechapel (952 points but another “time-constrained” clue), the number of cylinders willing to help propel the bike forward had dropped further, as had the oil pressure.  As regards the engine cases, well you could now toasting bread from the heat was now a distinct option …..  I needed to let the bike cool down a little and so it was a blessing that we needed a timed receipt (for a drink) at this particular Bonus.  The consumption of the drink allowed both myself and the bike to cool a little.  Of course, whilst my bike was slowly melting, Johns Daytona was taking “city life” in its stride.  Bugger, bugger, bugger ……

From the Blind Beggar, we headed north towards Euston where the third of the clues waited, the Statue of Ghandi (1259 points).  Here, we again let the bikes (well actually my bike) cool down again and I took the opportunity to book our ferries across to the Isle of Wight for later that evening.  We were still planning very much at this stage to pick up the 1800 points on offer there.

The last of the London clues was the Fire Station at Twickenham.  Rather than head back the direct route (which meant through the city), we continued to head north and picked up first the M1, followed by the M25, going the “long way around” to the fire station.  The logic was that we’d be both putting some miles under our wheels again and also that a nice brisk ride along the motorway would bring the engine temperature of the Legend down to somewhere below the surface temperature of the sun that it was currently operating at !!

It was just turned 8.30pm as we headed finally away from London.  As we crossed the M25, I said a prayer of thanks inside my helmet.  We had now been “on the road” for almost 15 hours, had ridden just under 600 miles and had collected 9807 points.  As we headed down the A3, towards the south coast, the “computer” in my head was telling me that we were well on target for a “finish”.

By the time we picked up bonuses at Guildford (281 points) and Chichester (560 points), it was clear that the trip onto the Isle of Wight was going to be a “non-starter” as the ride doen the A3 had taken a lot longer than anticipated.  Well that was £60 worth of ferry tickets down the drain !!  More importantly what it meant was that we would need a further revision to the plan, but for now the next “points haul” we were working towards was the rest bonus of 5000 points.

In order to get the Rest Bonus, you are required to find a location and obtain a timed receipt – it doesn’t matter what it’s for just as long as it shows the location and the time (and date of course !).  After three hours, you need to obtain another timed receipt from the same location in order to prove you’ve been at the same spot for three hours i.e. you’ve had your break.  After unsuccessfully trying to find a travel lodge type room in and around the Portsmouth area - it was a Saturday night on a bank holiday weekend - we settled for receipts from a petrol station and accepted the kindness of the night porter at the IBIS hotel just around the corner from the garage,  who allowed us to bed down for three hours in the hotel lobby area.

Actually, whilst John slept for three hours, I looked at the route and considered alternatives with the 1800 points on the Isle of Wight no longer available to us.  We now began to reap the rewards arising from the “agony” of the trip into the City of London earlier in the rally.  The 4210 points derived form London more than compensated for the loss of the Isle of Wight bonus.  I also figured that, rather than heading for Lands End where there was a further 1899 points available and then riding straight back to the rally control, if we picked up a “daylight only” bonus in the New Forest and then took in a control at Hereford, we could save ourselves the long trip down to Lands End itself, although we would then be tight on having covered the minimum miles.  That problem though could be rectified by simply riding up and down the M6 for a few miles in and around Trentham.  With the new plan, it my mind, I tried to get a bit of sleep.

What seemed like 30 seconds later, but was probably more like an hour and a half, the alarm on my phone sounded.  We got up, thanked our new best friend the IBIS night porter and headed off back into the night - having first collected our timed receipt of course !! J

The revised, revised, revised plan (Mark III), required  a trip up onto the roads above Portsmouth to collect the Bonus where the picture of a nameplate on a bench was required  (560 points).  Whilst we were there, another rallyist, John Rafferty, was just taking his pictures.  This location was clearly the “lovers lane” for Portsmouth and as John R. commented, there’d probably been more than one thought of “what a dirty old perv.” amongst the “regulars” there as they’d no doubt seen a string of guys turn up throughout the night with camera in hand.  Of course, what would then be troubling them is why we were all draping a rally towel on a park bench and talking a photograph of it !!!

After the “Lovers Lane” bonus we then needed to pick up the “daylight only” bonus at Minstead in the New Forest.  It was actually the grave of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and as we arrived, our “friend” from earlier in the day, Steve Eversfield was already there waiting for daylight to arrive.  John Rafferty quickly joined us and by the time we were ready to leave it was clear that this was one of those bonuses that seemed to attract a small cluster of “Bonus-Hunters”

It was actually here that myself and John Jnr. decided to part company for the remainder of the rally.  John was going off to do at least one extra bonus location on his own before heading up to the final checkpoint on our route at Hereford.  From there, he would make his way back to Trentham Gardens.   I planned just to head straight for Hereford before making for “home”.

It was much to the amusement of the three/four other rally entrants around us that I warned John Jnr. to “go steady” on at least five occasions before leaving him.  It was ok for them, they’d never followed him ……  I even went as far as promising John that I’d only do the bonus at Hereford.  I figured that way, he’d not try anything silly in trying to get as many bonus points as possible just to beat me.

Obviously that was a blatant lie on my part and soon after setting off, I pulled over to plot a course that would take in a further two further bonuses at Marlborough and Chippenham – I couldn’t have the little bugger beating me in the final rally positions, could I ?

Of course being my son, he’d also not been exactly straight regarding his intentions either and as I approached the second of the bonuses at Chippenham, who was there but John Jnr.  Apparently he’d done the bonus at Stonehenge and then picked up the two bonuses that I’d identified as being on the way to Hereford.  What that meant was assuming all the paperwork was going to be in order, he’d end up with 439 more points than me.  Kids – you just can’t trust them !!

We decided just to ride together again for a while.  I suspect this had got as much to do with the fact that John Jnr. would need fuel soon - guess who had been paying for the fuel so far ? - as for any sibling/parental love reason !

By the time we’d picked up our last bonus, stopped for a little breakfast and ridden back up the M5/M6 Toll Road to our last fuel stop, it was just before noon.  All we needed now was to put a few extra miles onto the run to ensure we were comfortably past the 1123 miles minimum distance.

For myself, all that meant was a trip up to junction 17 of the M6 before turning around and heading for Trentham Gardens.  For John Jnr. however, he needed to travel a further 40 miles north.  This was due to the fact that whilst he was busy collecting the bonus at Stonehenge earlier in the day, I’d been putting a few extra miles under my wheels.  This now came back to haunt him as he got stuck for almost an hour on the M6 due to the motorway being closed just to the north of Junction 17.  Whereas I arrived back at Trentham at around 1.30pm, it was nearer 3.30pm by the time John Jnr. arrived.  I was actually the second to arrive back which gave me plenty of time to complete my paperwork.  The completion of the fuel log (times, places, amount of fuel and odometer readings) was worth a “cool” 10,000 points with a 100-point deduction for each error.  Whilst this doesn’t appear to be that onerous a task - simply listing down a batch of receipts - it’s amazingly difficult after being awake for near on 48 hours and having ridden 1000 miles plus.  Of course the first thing you have to make sure of is that you’ve got all of the receipts and those receipts have all of the required information on them.  The annoying thing for myself, is that even though I normally spend my entire working day immersed in paperwork, I still managed to lose 200 points by switching the time and amount of fuel on one receipt whilst recording it.  Of course, when I helped John out with his paperwork, it was 100% perfect !!

With all of the paperwork completed you then enter the “scoring room”.  The best way to describe this is it’s something akin to being back at school.  In the “scoring room” were four teams of markers – two people and a computer in front of them.  Sonia was part of one marking team, but both John and myself steered well clear of a potentially vindictive mother or wife !!  You walk in, give them your number and hand over your camera and paperwork.  They download your photographs and then set out to potentially ruin your weekend !!! JJ

All I can say was that it was nerve wracking to say the least and when it was over and all I’d lost was the 200 points for the fuel log error, I was relatively sure that I’d got my finish. After leaving the room, I retired to the bar to get a drink (a soft drink of course).  John joined me a few minutes later and more or less re-iterated my comments to just how nerve wracking it was, but at the same time confirmed that he’d been able to leave no points at the scoring table.

As we were only a few miles up the road from home, we then both came back to Pottal Pool House to have a nice shower and to change into some clothes a little less smelly.  By the time we were back up at Trentham, the marking was almost completed and we all sat down for the evening meal.  Then it was time for the awards ……

It was with a certain amount of trepidation that I walked into the meeting room and took my seat with 40 plus other riders. In the next few minutes, myself and John would discover whether or not the last 48 hours had all been in vain.

To begin with, Roger Allen announced the names of the riders who, for one reason or another hadn’t managed to get back to the finish control.  Then he listed those who’d made it back but hadn’t amassed enough points and/or miles to get a finishers award.  For myself “Wreckemrob” was a star here.  Even though he’d managed to throw his bike up the road in Scotland during the Saturday, he persuaded a bike breaker to supply him with the bits to repair his bike and then carried on.  I genuinely do not think I would have been of a strong enough character to do that.